A Guest Post from a Daisy

Depression for me, as well as many of those who have suffered from it, was a very gradual process.  I can’t point out a specific event that caused my depression, but a few of my experiences growing up led me to feel extremely insecure and unsure of myself which contributed immensely to depression.

When I was seven, I started dancing competitively.  I attended rehearsal about three to four hours a day, two or three times a week.  The team I was placed in had a lot of naturally talented girls who, in my opinion, were ten times better dancers than me.  Throughout the next 8 years of my life, I never seemed to be good enough.  I constantly felt excluded by the other girls because I was nowhere near their level.  Whether these feelings I often felt were absurd assumptions or could actually be justified, I was miserable all the same.

As I was growing older, the damage dancing was doing to my self-esteem only added to the typical challenges we all faced when entering middle school.  I never felt pretty enough, smart enough, or popular enough.  Since my confidence was so low, I also had a hard time making friends.  I told myself that no one would want to be friends with me because I wasn’t “cool” like some of my peers.  I resulted in staying home most weekend nights, sitting on the bus by myself, and walking alone during every hall break.  I was absolutely miserable.  I tried to completely isolate myself from the rest of the world.  I found it easier to be alone than have to try and fit in with kids my age.  I became extremely lonely and angry at myself.  I wanted to be a social and outgoing person more than anything, but for some reason I couldn’t gain the confidence I needed to make new friends.  In ninth grade, my family started to notice how serious my condition was, and decided to get me professional help.

During the next year or so, I hopped from therapist to therapist.  None of them seemed to really understand how I felt.  My depression, I decided, would never go away.  I started to accept the fact that this was something I would have to live with for the rest of my life. 

I am happy to share with all of you that there is light at the end of the tunnel!  Although depression may be something I struggle with from time to time, it does get better.  We will all have our good days and bad days, but ultimately if we endure we can begin to find happiness and enjoy this wonderful life again.