I look at all these kids at BYU who are working 20+ hours a week, taking 16 credit hours, getting impressive grades all while making their apartment look spotless and being the relief society president.
Then I look at my life- I'm taking 11.5 credits so I don't have to be full time (cheating the system slightly) while working maybe 12 hours a week if I'm lucky. I hate studying and rarely do so. I also hate going to class and get relatively mediocre grades at best.
Lately I have been wallowing and complaining about how I feel completely inadequate to be surrounded by these people. I'm not perfect by any means and I do not fit the typical "goody-good BYU student" mold. I realize that these people have flaws that may be hard for others to recognize, but from what I see on the surface, I am way behind my fellow students on multiple levels.
But as I've been sitting here, wallowing, I've realized that I have so much more to offer than what I give myself credit for. So yeah I'm not a straight A student, but I make the best chocolate chip cookies you'll ever put in your mouth. I'm not a complete genius, but I can fake it and I rock at that.
We all have our thing! Can I compare my cookie-making abilities to my roommate's incredible academic success? No. Is one better than the other? Well yeah... cookie-making. Just kidding.
I am grateful that we all have our strengths. And next time you're comparing your life to Miss Susie Perfectionist you just remember how great you are and the things you've got that no one else can do quite as well as you.
As my great friend Hannah Montana once said, "Nobody's perfect." and I might add, "so stop trying to be."
Peace and Blessin's my lovely readers
Han
12.20.2013
How Social Media Started to Ruin My Life...
The One Where I Give You, My Dear Readers, Some Food for Thought...
It's two in the afternoon and I've just gotten home from a long day at school. I've got about an hour to kill until I have to leave for work so I heat up something in the microwave and pull out the ol' laptop. Without even taking a second to think, I click on the Internet browser and start typing... f-a-c-e... my laptop recognizes where I'm going with this: Facebook. Before I know it, I am mindlessly scrolling through pictures of people I haven't seen in years doing things that I honestly don't care about.
If you're like me, this whole social media thing has taken a huge part of your daily life. Think about... what's the first thing you do when you're, let's say, waiting at the DMV for something? You pull out your phone. You check your Snapchat, you check your Instagram, maybe even a little Twitter action.. and frankly, it's exhausting.
Not only are you checking these apps incessantly but you're also expected to be posting everything about your life on them: the food you eat, the boys you date, the family you love, it's almost social suicide to simply not post!
Now we're back to my mindless scrolling but this time it's on Instagram. My Instagram feed shows my married friends cooking dinner for each other and being all in love, then I feel worthless and the negative thoughts of comparison start to haunt me. What a waste of my time and energy! There must be a solution.
My suggestion to you is this: what if we all stopped caring so much about who is dating whom and who is breaking up with whom and instead started focusing on what we're doing to be better people and serve those around us?
You're all my friends so I'm going to admit something rather embarrassing. I can't even come up with an accurate conjecture about how much time I spend on social media every day. This is pathetic but I don't even want to own up to how much time I spend every day comparing my life to every one of my Facebook and Instagram friends. To me, it's just not worth it anymore.
So from now on, I'm keeping my life to myself. If you want to know what's going on with me, who I'm dating or not dating, what I'm eating, feel free to contact me the old fashion way and put that phone of yours to good use. I'm convinced that the happiest we can be is when we are more focused on those around us in a service oriented mindset instead of what fun things we can do to make for a great Instagram post.
And that's my food for thought for you on this lovely winter day. Hope your holiday is going well and that this post wasn't too much honesty on one page.
Xoxo
Han
It's two in the afternoon and I've just gotten home from a long day at school. I've got about an hour to kill until I have to leave for work so I heat up something in the microwave and pull out the ol' laptop. Without even taking a second to think, I click on the Internet browser and start typing... f-a-c-e... my laptop recognizes where I'm going with this: Facebook. Before I know it, I am mindlessly scrolling through pictures of people I haven't seen in years doing things that I honestly don't care about.
If you're like me, this whole social media thing has taken a huge part of your daily life. Think about... what's the first thing you do when you're, let's say, waiting at the DMV for something? You pull out your phone. You check your Snapchat, you check your Instagram, maybe even a little Twitter action.. and frankly, it's exhausting.
Not only are you checking these apps incessantly but you're also expected to be posting everything about your life on them: the food you eat, the boys you date, the family you love, it's almost social suicide to simply not post!
Now we're back to my mindless scrolling but this time it's on Instagram. My Instagram feed shows my married friends cooking dinner for each other and being all in love, then I feel worthless and the negative thoughts of comparison start to haunt me. What a waste of my time and energy! There must be a solution.
My suggestion to you is this: what if we all stopped caring so much about who is dating whom and who is breaking up with whom and instead started focusing on what we're doing to be better people and serve those around us?
You're all my friends so I'm going to admit something rather embarrassing. I can't even come up with an accurate conjecture about how much time I spend on social media every day. This is pathetic but I don't even want to own up to how much time I spend every day comparing my life to every one of my Facebook and Instagram friends. To me, it's just not worth it anymore.
So from now on, I'm keeping my life to myself. If you want to know what's going on with me, who I'm dating or not dating, what I'm eating, feel free to contact me the old fashion way and put that phone of yours to good use. I'm convinced that the happiest we can be is when we are more focused on those around us in a service oriented mindset instead of what fun things we can do to make for a great Instagram post.
And that's my food for thought for you on this lovely winter day. Hope your holiday is going well and that this post wasn't too much honesty on one page.
Xoxo
Han
11.14.2013
The Problem with Being Human...
I am a human. A mistake-making, accident prone human. I have flaws, lots and lots of them.
I often suffer from short-term memory loss. I rarely drive the speed limit.
And I have yet to go a day without being embarrassingly late to an event.
I was reading an article the other day about a woman who was constantly running late. As she walked her kids in to school every day to write yet another tardy excusal, she anxiously scrambled to come up with some kind of reason for their tardiness.
Finally one day she decided that it was time to stop making excuses; she was late and that's just how it was. That day her kids' excusal note was much different than the others. On it she wrote, "Well, in the Smith family, we tend to always run a little behind. We are humans and let's be honest, we're all a little tired."
I LOVED this story. It showed me that it's okay to have shortcomings and flaws- we all have them whether we admit it openly or not. But we all have the choice to put Christ's atonement into practice as we seek forgiveness and try our best to do better.
The other day I was thinking about the many flaws I possess and wondering how on earth I will ever find someone who loves me enough to see past those things. Then I realized that there is already someone who knows everything about me, and still loves me- in fact He loves me so much that He atoned for all of my sins. And that person is our Savior: Jesus Christ. I love Him with all of my heart, and I know that through Him these flaws and weaknesses that we all possess can be made into great strengths.
This video perfectly demonstrates my feelings on the subject of being human. Although it is simplistic, its concepts are filled with depth.
I encourage you to find a flaw and take it to the Lord. Ask for His help and I know He will make up for things in which you may lack. If you fail again, keep trying and don't ever give up.
{Hannah}
I often suffer from short-term memory loss. I rarely drive the speed limit.
And I have yet to go a day without being embarrassingly late to an event.
I was reading an article the other day about a woman who was constantly running late. As she walked her kids in to school every day to write yet another tardy excusal, she anxiously scrambled to come up with some kind of reason for their tardiness.
Finally one day she decided that it was time to stop making excuses; she was late and that's just how it was. That day her kids' excusal note was much different than the others. On it she wrote, "Well, in the Smith family, we tend to always run a little behind. We are humans and let's be honest, we're all a little tired."
I LOVED this story. It showed me that it's okay to have shortcomings and flaws- we all have them whether we admit it openly or not. But we all have the choice to put Christ's atonement into practice as we seek forgiveness and try our best to do better.
The other day I was thinking about the many flaws I possess and wondering how on earth I will ever find someone who loves me enough to see past those things. Then I realized that there is already someone who knows everything about me, and still loves me- in fact He loves me so much that He atoned for all of my sins. And that person is our Savior: Jesus Christ. I love Him with all of my heart, and I know that through Him these flaws and weaknesses that we all possess can be made into great strengths.
This video perfectly demonstrates my feelings on the subject of being human. Although it is simplistic, its concepts are filled with depth.
I encourage you to find a flaw and take it to the Lord. Ask for His help and I know He will make up for things in which you may lack. If you fail again, keep trying and don't ever give up.
{Hannah}
11.11.2013
Cookies are Good for the Soul
And then the professor says, "Friends are an essential part of life. We all need truly genuine friends who we can spend time with and share our concerns with..."
Well boy, I think, I better get me some of those friends he's talking about. I walk home and feel this huge burden as these thoughts start coming to me, "Han, you have no friends and you've accomplished nothing. You can't go to this school. It's too hard. Time to quit. Move on to something else."
Wait what?! I've accomplished nothing? Then it hits me, Satan has popped in for a visit.
At this point I have two potential plans of action:
A. I can say, "Ya know what, you're right Satan. I don't have any friends and I'm so lonely. My life sucks," and simply feed off of my own misery
OR
B. I can say, "I am a little lonely today. Hm.. who should I call? Who needs some help today?"
I know what you're thinking, obviously I should pick the latter. But since when do I ever make the right decision the first time? My thoughts spiral incessantly downward as I think of friends of mine who haven't contacted me that should have, boys that I think should be asking me out but are mysteriously mysterious, the list goes on and on...
THEN finally I resort to the one thing that never fails in these situations: I make cookies and eat them all.
After wallowing in my misery for much longer than I should have whilst also eating a pound of freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies, I finally come to my senses. Now I'm thinking, Being lonely is the worst. So what am I going to do about it? How am I going to fix this? After some lds.org searching I realize my problem: I was focused so much on how lonely I was that I was actually making myself even more lonely.
So I buck up. I realize that it's up to me to not feel this way. I start doing dishes for my roommates, even though I'm not exactly thrilled about it. I start thinking of a great service project I want to be invested in, I start reading the scriptures and all of the sudden, I'm not so lonely anymore. I do have friends and family who love me! And my life is pretty good!
This my friends is what I like to call a typical Han's QLC- Quarter Life Crisis. We all have these crises every once and a while where life just seems too much to handle. Whether it's because you just broke up with someone you thought you loved, you bombed a test you studied really hard for, whatever the case may be, we all have these QLCs. And you know who LOVES these? Satan. Satan loves when he can catch us in the middle of our misery because that's when he can start attacking us most- at our lowest point.
DO NOT LET HIM DO THIS.
You are better than Satan! And you've got so much to live for. Don't let him convince you that you're worthless, lonely and you should just quit. Can you imagine the satisfaction you could potentially give Satan if you just give up altogether? Don't do it! If anything for the sake of winning against the worst enemy we've ever had.
And if the loneliness you feel is still too much to handle, reach out to someone. Someone like me who really needed a friendly phone call today and got one. Someone out there like me needs a someone like you! You are important. Don't let yourself be a waste of space simply because Satan is making you feel that way. Teach him a lesson and go serve- tell your kids you love them, give your roommates a hug, pick up the husband's socks for the eightieth time, just do something! (And if your mind is still completely blank on what service to do, bring me cookies dang it! Just kidding.. really that would only be a disservice to my poor sugar-infested body. But I'm sure there is someone you know who could use some cookies! Think, think, think!)
Here's to wishing you a fabulous week of finding tiny little service opportunities.
xoxo,
Han
P.S. Thanks to a lovely best friend of mine for inspiring this post, you know who you are. ;)
P.P.S. Please don't tell my roommates I ate cookies. I swore I would be off of them. Do you think they'll smell them when they get home? I'm out of excuses. New life motto: When in doubt, eat the cookie.
P.P.S. Please don't tell my roommates I ate cookies. I swore I would be off of them. Do you think they'll smell them when they get home? I'm out of excuses. New life motto: When in doubt, eat the cookie.
10.13.2013
Major Setbacks.
Setback (n.): a change in status for the worse, usually temporarily.
If you're anything like me, you read that definition and thought, well that sucks. And yeah... it does. However, did you notice the last word of that definition?
...Temporarily...
I have been experiencing some major setbacks over the past few weeks. My busy schedule is getting the best of me and I'll be honest, I am a total mess.
These thoughts keep running through my head: "Han, you are a failure. You're going back to how you used to be! Even though you're trying to teach these people that there is hope and happiness on the way, you don't even believe it yourself."
To this I reply: "STUPID, SATAN. What a liar."
I am NOT a failure simply because my depression has been harder to handle over the past few months. This doesn't define me. I'm still Han the girl that Can. (Cute how Han rhymes with everything huh?) So yeah I had a setback.. I'm a human. Woop dee doo! But guess what.
Because I am a human that means that I have a Savior, Jesus Christ who has been through this already! He knows my struggles and He is there. Does this mean that I will always feel His spirit with me and have just a nice little life full of frolicking through the daisies? Um... no. Definitely not.
But this does mean that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is watching out for me day in and day out who loves me infinitely. He loves me when I am depressed. He loves me when I'm happy. He loves me even when I don't deserve it.
I put this picture on the desktop of my laptop. It is one of the most beautiful and profound quotes I have ever added to my infinite quote collection. (See post below for more on this inspired talk.)
I highly suggest you do this too! Post this picture somewhere you will see it everyday. And remember that our Heavenly Father loves you. No matter what.
And setbacks are only temporary.
| Han |
If you're anything like me, you read that definition and thought, well that sucks. And yeah... it does. However, did you notice the last word of that definition?
...Temporarily...
I have been experiencing some major setbacks over the past few weeks. My busy schedule is getting the best of me and I'll be honest, I am a total mess.
These thoughts keep running through my head: "Han, you are a failure. You're going back to how you used to be! Even though you're trying to teach these people that there is hope and happiness on the way, you don't even believe it yourself."
To this I reply: "STUPID, SATAN. What a liar."
I am NOT a failure simply because my depression has been harder to handle over the past few months. This doesn't define me. I'm still Han the girl that Can. (Cute how Han rhymes with everything huh?) So yeah I had a setback.. I'm a human. Woop dee doo! But guess what.
Because I am a human that means that I have a Savior, Jesus Christ who has been through this already! He knows my struggles and He is there. Does this mean that I will always feel His spirit with me and have just a nice little life full of frolicking through the daisies? Um... no. Definitely not.
But this does mean that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is watching out for me day in and day out who loves me infinitely. He loves me when I am depressed. He loves me when I'm happy. He loves me even when I don't deserve it.
I put this picture on the desktop of my laptop. It is one of the most beautiful and profound quotes I have ever added to my infinite quote collection. (See post below for more on this inspired talk.)
I highly suggest you do this too! Post this picture somewhere you will see it everyday. And remember that our Heavenly Father loves you. No matter what.
And setbacks are only temporary.
| Han |
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