3.21.2013

Why the Heck am I Writing This?

This blog has literally started to consume my life. Ask anyone that has talked to me within the past few days and they will tell you a rather sad tale of my constant complaining of "ah, it's not good enough. Ah we aren't getting enough views!!" I really could go on and on. 

After all this stressing out over nothing and just overall frustration, the thought finally came to me, why the heck am I writing this blog?

There are so many things on my mind telling me that this is just crazy: 
1. I am not into the whole "spill my emotional secrets to the world" thing. 
2. I feel completely inadequate to be the voice for depression. There are so many people much more experienced than I am that could do much better. 
3. I am a perfectionist and no matter how hard I try this blog will NEVER be perfect. There will always be something I want to change with the design, there will always be SOMETHING getting in the way of my idea of what this blog should be. 
4. I am not a perfect person. As awesome as it sounds that I somewhat "conquered" depression, I really haven't. There are some days when I feel just as crummy as I did my senior year of high school.

However, 
Despite all of these feelings of self-doubt and inadequacies that I feel, I have this undying love and passion for people who suffer from emotional illnesses. And even if you don't have a "diagnosed" emotional illness, we've all got emotional problems.
We will all struggle with some sort of sadness at some point even if it isn't exactly depression. And as awkward as it is for me to tell everyone how hard it was to have depression, I want people reading this to know that I'm a real person! I have emotions other than just happy and crazy. I mess up. A lot. Like holy cow it's unbelievable! 

But I have this drive for helping people come closer to the Savior. I want anyone to be able to read this blog and think, "Yeah I mess up, but I don't have to be perfect," OR "That really was what I needed to hear." Just even those little thoughts will have achieved my purpose for this blog.
Is my purpose to rant about how horrible my life was senior year? Most definitely not. In fact, it wasn't even that horrible!  I still had just as wonderful of friends then as I did now, I had an awesome job working with kids I loved, I had a good life and I still do. 

I would like to argue, rather, that my point is really to get people to come to Christ. Go to Him. I don't care what religion you are, but I can promise you that with a foundation based upon Jesus Christ you really cannot fail. You just won't. I am living proof that when we rely on Him, everything else seems to fall into place. It may take time. It may take hours of tears and frustration. It may take getting hurt really badly, but for those people who build their foundation upon the Savior, 
blessings do come. 


This is my "go to" Mormon message for every problem I've ever had. I absolutely love this!! Hope you do too! And three cheers for it finally being the weekend! (well almost...)

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