Depression sucks.

Sometimes depression just sucks. It doesn't matter how righteous I may feel I've been living, sometimes depression just hits out of nowhere and it is frankly exhausting.

Today is one of those days for me: one of those days where I feel like life is way harder than it should be. Don't get me wrong, I have definitely come a LONG way since being diagnosed with depression, but that doesn't mean that I have fully conquered this illness, nor does that mean that I ever really will.

However, I have learned that when I have these feelings come on, there are several things I can do to help myself: 

1. First things first, I call a friend. There are only a select few that I feel like I can turn to- one of them is the Lord but often I need someone who can just text me and talk to me. So I find one. 

2.  I remind myself that things always get better and that I just have to keep holding on. (This step is much easier said then done, but it does work if repeated over and over and over again.)
3. Next I treat myself. Today I decided that I'm going to buy myself some peonies cause they're in season and I deserve some flowers.
4.  I try to stay focused as much as I can on the things I need to get done. (This is another one that is also much easier said than done.)  

5. Lastly I HAVE to remind myself to cancel out all negative thoughts that come to my mind. Often when I am feeling down, I catch myself in a downward spiral of negative thinking- we all do this! But it's so important to stop this IMMEDIATELY in its tracks. Whenever a negative thought comes to my head I think to myself, "Okay Han, is that really true?" The answer is almost always no. 

These steps may sound simple but when I have a "down day" it can often be rather difficult to muster the courage I need to take a step in the right direction. So what do I do when a bad day strikes? I keep moving forward. I don't ever give up and I keep my positive talk up as much as possible! As Hannah Montana used to say, "Nobody is perfect. I've gotta work it again and again til I get it right." (Yes I just quoted Hannah Montana. It's fine.) 

Keep working through, even if that means you have to do it over and over and over again! 

And if things still don't seem to be working out for you, go buy yourself some peonies! Heaven knows you deserve them. 

All my love, 

Han

And I almost forgot the most important part! Never forget that you have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who are constantly cheering you on. Look for their hand in all aspects of your life. I promise you will be pleasantly surprised to find just how close they really are.